So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
