I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i came on her dog
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
