alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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