that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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