You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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