Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
