3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
