i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you had me at cake vodka
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So much rum. So many feels.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
