He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
