did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
