i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
