you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
