I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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