I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
