so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
im on a boat
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