Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Randomize
