Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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