It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Randomize
