So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
