I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
