She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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