Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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