im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
