God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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