i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
