She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Randomize
