When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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