are you so shy because you have an std?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
