Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
