Got a toothbrush?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize