i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
