found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
