Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
