plz talk dirty to me
Soap is not a condiment
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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