): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
