i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
