so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You know, be my cock's hype man.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
