SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
