my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
They should really pass out barf bags in church
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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