it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
