I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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