Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
