But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize