I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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