By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You're a waste of cheezeits
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
