how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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