Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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