i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
