Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
