only if we run a train.
done.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
