Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
