that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
