Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
