Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My dick has a subreddit
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
